I have been going out with a guy for over two years. I drive and it takes me half an hour to get to his house. he doesnt drive and it takes him about 2 hours to get to my house via public transport.309942
I am happy to visit him a lot more than he visits me for the obvious reasons of ease of getting there. But i also want to stay a day or two because it is still a pain to drive so far, and i cant afford the petrol.
My guy is the type of person who likes being alone, and if we spend maybe 2 or 3 days together I have to leave so he can "have his alone time".
I am the kind of person who is happier being around someone that i care for and enjoy being with. I don't like being home alone. When I dont want to go out and socialise with my friends, I still dont want to be alone - i want to be with my guy, even if it's just to watch tv and snuggle.
My problem is this:
I have seen my guy for 6 hours in the past week because i have been working (and i was too tired to do much more than go out for dinner in those 6 hours).
I went to the movies with my guy and our mutual friends (including his male flatmate who drives) on friday night, after that we went to a pool hall to play pool. It is my assumption that MOST people in a long term relationship would expect to stay with their partner after seeing the friends - go home together, maybe spend the next day together since you havent seen each other in a while. I didn't bother asking my guy to come back to my place - because this happens a lot and he always says no. he never plans ahead for that kind of thing. Normally i end up driving back to his house with him. (The pool hall is near my house.) So this time, instead of asking and pleading to spend some time with him, i let him know i want to be with him and leave the rest to him.
At the end of the night, everyone is hugging and saying goodbye. I was hoping my guy would perhaps ask me what i wanted to do, but all he did was hug me and say goodbye.
Is it normal for a guy to not want to spend time with his girlfriend? he says he likes me and likes being with me and is glad im his girlfriend. but why does he never want to spend time with me? especially when he knows how much i dont like being alone? There's lots of opportunities where it would be just as easy if not easier to stay with me for a night or a day, and yet he always ops to go home. I get so upset because i still think a normal boyfriend would jump at the chance of spending the night with his girl. It's almost like it doesnt occur to him that we should spend time together.
i respect his need for alone time, and let him have it as much as possible (Even tho it often hurts me to do so). Am i wrong in thinking that he isnt respecting my need to spend time with him, and he isnt willing to sacrifice for me in the way that i sacrifice for him?